logo
Login Subscribe
Google Play App Store
  • News
    • Obituaries
    • Lifestyle
    • Opinion
  • Sports
  • E-edition
  • Public Notices
  • Calendar
  • Archives
  • Contact
    • Contact Us
    • Advertisers
    • Form Submission
    • About Us
    • News
      • Obituaries
      • Lifestyle
      • Opinion
    • Sports
    • E-edition
    • Public Notices
    • Calendar
    • Archives
    • Contact
      • Contact Us
      • Advertisers
      • Form Submission
      • About Us
The cost of caring
commentary
September 28, 2023
The cost of caring
By if ZaDonnjCb ULculeA

The cost of caring

ot. dVonrUoà’

Sometimes “the cost of caring” for others and even animals can leave you physically, emotionally and financially drained.

I know the “cost of caring” because I moved my dad and my grandmother into my home during their last years. Just a few years prior, my mother and I had also been taking care of her parents in their home in Yukon until they passed away. Then my mom and I took care of my great grandmother and great aunt in Bethany until they passed away. Although my mother was the main caregiver for the most part, I would drive up to relieve her every other weekend while I was still teaching school. So many weeks there were zero days off and even if you were off work, your brain couldn’t switch off to rest and relax anyways. It seemed like an endless cycle which now I understand to be called “compassion fatigue.” This kind of fatigue takes you to sheer exhaustion and actually “secondary trauma” because your compassion cannot stop. Oftentimes you feel powerless because you cannot stop the suffering. You also start to feel numb and detached to everything else and emotionally disconnected. This is the real “cost of caring.”

Even caring for animals, especially “rescues” can cause this compassionate fatigue. I have always gone out of my way to help others and animals. In fact, I currently have three rescue babies that were found in an abandoned house. These three little kitties were skin and bones when we started fostering them. They were infested with fleas, needed to be wormed and their eyes were matted over with infections. Some may have looked at them and thought what’s the point of saving them? But not my daughter or I, we both seem to have that undeniable soft spot for all of God’s creatures. We will be the ones up bathing them and combing them for hours to rid them of fleas. We will be the ones putting together boxes and blankets for makeshift beds and feeding them round-the-clock at crazy hours. We will also be the ones doing without our own personal items so the rest of the crew can keep getting their meals on a daily basis until they find their fur-ever homes.

Surprisingly in just six years of living in Muskogee, we have rescued over 30 kitties plus several puppies and dogs. In my lifetime I’ve probably rescued over a hundred. Some have gone to fur-ever homes and others we have brought back home after having them fixed at Happy Paws. Many have been part of the TNR (Trap-Neuter-Release) program in our neighborhood. This simple program alone helps cut down on the overpopulation of so many unwanted litters within just a few years and is being implemented in many places.

However, caring for all these animals is very costly, again physically, emotionally and financially. On almost any given day, I feed not only our five inside kitties and a Pitbull which were all rescues, but also around 7-10 semi feral kitties outside. Though there are many times this “cost of caring” feels daunting, I know in the end it will be worth it all. Just like caring for all my family members who have gone on before me. I know I cannot save them all, but I will completely exhaust myself and every resource I have to make sure they have a better life because I believe it’s the right thing to do. The “cost of caring” is great, but the “call to care” is greater.

Remembering Jerry
A: Main, News...
Remembering Jerry
By SHAUNA BELYEU GENERAL MANAGER 
February 5, 2026
Jerry Fink never met a story he couldn’t write. For more than 50 years, he wrote them from the front lines of war zones to the bright lights of Las Vegas, from the smoking buildings of OKC to the quie...
this is a test
A: Main, News...
Nominations open for McIntosh County Democrat Citizen of the Year
February 5, 2026
Do you know someone whose life’s mission is to help those in need? Is there someone who puts others above themselves and makes an impact on the community and those around them without looking for reco...
this is a test
Don Campbell is turning 90!
A: Main, News...
Don Campbell is turning 90!
February 5, 2026
Come celebrate with Don on his actually 90th birthday, Feb. 7 from 2 p.m. – 5 p.m. at the Checotah Senior Center. Everyone is invited to drop by and share some stories over a piece of cake this Saturd...
this is a test
Black History Month: ‘A Century of Black History Commemorations’
A: Main, News...
Black History Month: ‘A Century of Black History Commemorations’
February 5, 2026
The theme for 2026 Black History Month is “A Century of Black History Commemorations,” honoring its 100th anniversary. This theme emphasizes 100 years of intentional efforts to honor, study, and prese...
this is a test
Emergency Roadside Service and Towing in High Demand
News
Emergency Roadside Service and Towing in High Demand
February 5, 2026
AAA crews are busy with extractions, towing, battery service and flat tires, as motorists face challenging conditions. AAA emergency roadside service demand in Oklahoma surged an astonishing 221% as l...
this is a test
Five generations, three guitars, one 89th Birthday
News
Five generations, three guitars, one 89th Birthday
February 5, 2026
When Paul Maloy turns 89 on Saturday, Feb. 7, the Plumb Theatre stage will be filled with something rare even in music-loving Longtown: five generations of Maloys singing together—and some of the fine...
this is a test
ePaper
coogle_play
app_store
Editor Picks
News
Dreams come true for Freedom House ladies
By LADONNA RHODES STAFF WRITER 
February 5, 2026
Dreams really do come true according to Debbie Brooks, the Education Coordinator with Adult Teen Challenge Freedom House, who had always wanted to meet Lisa Harper, a Christian, Bible educator and spe...
this is a test
Listening to the lake: Understanding the rise and fall of Lake Eufaula
News
Listening to the lake: Understanding the rise and fall of Lake Eufaula
By MICHAEL BARNES 
February 5, 2026
If you’ve stood at the end of a dock at sunrise, or paused beside a quiet boat ramp where the water once lapped higher against the concrete, you’ve likely felt it—that small, unsettled question that c...
this is a test
LOST DOG
News
LOST DOG
February 5, 2026
This sweet boy went missing around Malette last week and his family desperately wants him back. Please call 608-- 788-5981 if found.
this is a test
News
Northeastern State University announces 2026 Centurions
February 5, 2026
Northeastern State University (NSU) is proud to present the selection of the 2026 Centurions. A Northeastern State University Centurion is an individual whose leadership and commitment, through servic...
this is a test
Saying goodbye is never easy
commentary
Saying goodbye is never easy
February 5, 2026
I thought that saying goodbye to my McIntosh County Democrat office was the hardest thing I would ever go through this month and season of my life. I knew I would miss having my own space to write wit...
this is a test
Facebook
Twitter
Tweets
Twitter
Tweets

MCINTOSH COUNTY DEMOCRAT
300-A S. Broadway
Checotah, OK
74426

(918) 473-2313

This site complies with ADA requirements

© 2023 Mcintosh Democrat

  • Contact
  • Privacy
  • Accessibility Policy