logo
Login Subscribe
Google Play App Store
  • News
    • Obituaries
    • Lifestyle
    • Opinion
  • Sports
  • E-edition
  • Public Notices
  • Calendar
  • Archives
  • Contact
    • Contact Us
    • Advertisers
    • Form Submission
    • About Us
    • News
      • Obituaries
      • Lifestyle
      • Opinion
    • Sports
    • E-edition
    • Public Notices
    • Calendar
    • Archives
    • Contact
      • Contact Us
      • Advertisers
      • Form Submission
      • About Us
The cost of caring
commentary
September 28, 2023
The cost of caring
By if ZaDonnjCb ULculeA

The cost of caring

ot. dVonrUoà’

Sometimes “the cost of caring” for others and even animals can leave you physically, emotionally and financially drained.

I know the “cost of caring” because I moved my dad and my grandmother into my home during their last years. Just a few years prior, my mother and I had also been taking care of her parents in their home in Yukon until they passed away. Then my mom and I took care of my great grandmother and great aunt in Bethany until they passed away. Although my mother was the main caregiver for the most part, I would drive up to relieve her every other weekend while I was still teaching school. So many weeks there were zero days off and even if you were off work, your brain couldn’t switch off to rest and relax anyways. It seemed like an endless cycle which now I understand to be called “compassion fatigue.” This kind of fatigue takes you to sheer exhaustion and actually “secondary trauma” because your compassion cannot stop. Oftentimes you feel powerless because you cannot stop the suffering. You also start to feel numb and detached to everything else and emotionally disconnected. This is the real “cost of caring.”

Even caring for animals, especially “rescues” can cause this compassionate fatigue. I have always gone out of my way to help others and animals. In fact, I currently have three rescue babies that were found in an abandoned house. These three little kitties were skin and bones when we started fostering them. They were infested with fleas, needed to be wormed and their eyes were matted over with infections. Some may have looked at them and thought what’s the point of saving them? But not my daughter or I, we both seem to have that undeniable soft spot for all of God’s creatures. We will be the ones up bathing them and combing them for hours to rid them of fleas. We will be the ones putting together boxes and blankets for makeshift beds and feeding them round-the-clock at crazy hours. We will also be the ones doing without our own personal items so the rest of the crew can keep getting their meals on a daily basis until they find their fur-ever homes.

Surprisingly in just six years of living in Muskogee, we have rescued over 30 kitties plus several puppies and dogs. In my lifetime I’ve probably rescued over a hundred. Some have gone to fur-ever homes and others we have brought back home after having them fixed at Happy Paws. Many have been part of the TNR (Trap-Neuter-Release) program in our neighborhood. This simple program alone helps cut down on the overpopulation of so many unwanted litters within just a few years and is being implemented in many places.

However, caring for all these animals is very costly, again physically, emotionally and financially. On almost any given day, I feed not only our five inside kitties and a Pitbull which were all rescues, but also around 7-10 semi feral kitties outside. Though there are many times this “cost of caring” feels daunting, I know in the end it will be worth it all. Just like caring for all my family members who have gone on before me. I know I cannot save them all, but I will completely exhaust myself and every resource I have to make sure they have a better life because I believe it’s the right thing to do. The “cost of caring” is great, but the “call to care” is greater.

A Food Pantry guided by faith and experience
A: Main, News...
A Food Pantry guided by faith and experience
February 26, 2026
“I’ve been hungry. That’s why I started it.” Just east of Highway 69 on Texanna Road sits a single building that houses Thimbles N Thread Quilt Shop, owned by LaDonna McKay. The fab- ric and quilting ...
this is a test
2026 National Theme: A Century of Black History Commemorations
A: Main, News...
2026 National Theme: A Century of Black History Commemorations
By ALMA HARPER GARDENIA ART FEDERATED CLUB The sit-ins 
February 26, 2026
The Sit-In movement was a nonviolent movement of the United Civil Rights era. The sit-in, an act of civil disobedience, was a tactic that aroused sympathy for demonstrators among moderates and uninvol...
this is a test
A: Main, News...
Circle the State with Song Concert
February 26, 2026
Local elementary and middle school students will be participating in Circle the State with Song (CTSWS), a statewide choral event sponsored by the Oklahoma Music Educators Association. Circle the Stat...
this is a test
Tytin Daniels takes 2nd in state
A: Main, News...
Tytin Daniels takes 2nd in state
February 26, 2026
Nine-year-old Tytin Daniels won 2nd place in the 8U Heavy Weight division at the 2026 OKWA 48th Annual State Championships on Saturday, Feb. 21. The tournaments took place throughout the day at the OG...
this is a test
Morning Rescue inspired by Paws N Claws pup
A: Main, News...
Morning Rescue inspired by Paws N Claws pup
By LADONNA RHODES STAFF WRITER 
February 26, 2026
Paws N Claws started their meager rescue efforts to save the local pound pups on January 26, 2024. Some of the first dogs ever adopted went out of state and one very lucky pup was adopted by Brad Shro...
this is a test
News
C.A.R.D. Senior Nutrition menu
February 26, 2026
March 2 - March 6 611 N. Broadway, Checotah Please call 918-237-1118 for meal reservations by 12 p.m. the day before services. Monday, March 2: Chicken & Noodles; cabbage; pickled beets; cake; milk Tu...
this is a test
ePaper
coogle_play
app_store
Editor Picks
News
Abner Haynes
By By Michael Barnes 
February 26, 2026
this is a test
News
Get ready for a Chili Cookin’ weekend of fun
February 26, 2026
Get ready for a weekend of fun, food and friendly competition at the 18th Annual Checotah Chili Cook-Off this Saturday, Feb. 28! This year competitors will set up at the First Free Will Baptist Life C...
this is a test
ANNUAL BLACK HISTORY MONTH SEMINAR
News
ANNUAL BLACK HISTORY MONTH SEMINAR
February 26, 2026
Saturday, February 28 at 11 a.m. Mt. Olive Star Baptist Church 413665 E. 1080 Rd., Checotah, OK Rev. Samuel Cunningham, Pastor Sponsored by the Warrior School Restoration Organization Inc. Alma Harper...
this is a test
A Century of Black History Commemorations
News
A Century of Black History Commemorations
February 26, 2026
The theme for 2026 Black History Month is “A Century of Black History Commemorations,” honoring its 100th anniversary. This theme emphasizes 100 years of intentional efforts to honor, study, and prese...
this is a test
News
Free tax preparation available
February 26, 2026
Free tax preparation service is being offered by the AARP Foundation beginning Feb. 14 and continuing through April 11. The service will be available on Fridays, from 9 a.m. to 4 p.m. at the Eufaula C...
this is a test
Facebook
Twitter
Tweets
Twitter
Tweets

MCINTOSH COUNTY DEMOCRAT
300-A S. Broadway
Checotah, OK
74426

(918) 473-2313

This site complies with ADA requirements

© 2023 Mcintosh Democrat

  • Contact
  • Privacy
  • Accessibility Policy