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Just my opinion of the strong-willed child
commentary
May 30, 2024
Just my opinion of the strong-willed child

You can ask anyone who knows me (especially family members or close friends) and they will say I have never had any difficulty voicing my opinion or my concerns from childhood to adulthood. However, I don’t see it as a bad trait but rather a good trait because opinionated people are often moved by their unwavering convictions and can express their viewpoints with unwavering confidence. Though we are often unapologetic about our viewpoint, we do try to understand different angles even if we question if they are correct.

I once was asked at a job interview how would I describe myself? Without a second thought I said “Strong-willed.” Afterwards I laughed and explained I have always been a very strong-willed child that would often do whatever it took to get things done (of course I didn’t include I also wanted them done my way LOL). But in my defense, back then I believed it was my way or the highway. (Ms. Emmy would’ve been proud.) Now that I’m older and hopefully a bit wiser I realize that there may be several better ways than mine so hopefully when I see that I’ll bow my way out gracefully but probably not.

Yet I know I can be quite opinionated and for that I simply refuse to apologize. It’s in my blood and I promise that I can debate with the best intentions.

However, sometimes I have to wonder about the next generation that is coming behind me and my children. At times I have thought my own children would never learn. But my stubbornness is still prevailing for the most part in their lives. But the generation after them is even scarier. Lord help us all.

Don’t get me wrong, there are still several who have been raised right and for the most part are respectful and will make good leaders one day. However, there is a whole other group of “children” and yes that’s exactly what they are because they cannot handle the daily stress that everyone has. Yes, I said it. WE ALL HAVE STRESS AND IT CAUSES ANXIETY! But most of us that are 40 and older have learned to deal with it and keep functioning.

Yes, I know there are mental health issues that affect us. I’ve walked through the dark tunnel of depression and suicide. I totally get it. I’ve dealt with the spirit of suicide in my family. I’ve dealt with the loss of grandparents, my father and my unborn child. I’ve dealt with divorce and remarriage. I’ve dealt with addictions and my own demons. But the point is I dealt with them and I kept going.

Today, I hear teens, even my own family members, who can’t get a grip on their lives. They’re anxiety rules over them.

I almost laughed aloud when I watched a child give his Valedictorian speech and he candidly made jest of his “unnecessary lessons” and “mean teachers.” I wanted to shout out to him and say “hey I’d love to hear your opinion in 20 years but I doubt if it will be any more relevant than your speech was tonight.” You are correct about one thing, young man. You definitely were taught poorly because in my day and time you would’ve been challenged by a paddle for your cattiness and you would have learned a lot more respect. Hence the reason I stopped teaching 20 years ago, because I would have walked you off my graduation stage and handed you over to your parent with the words “You created this – now you live with it!” Sadly, I see my 18-year-old niece with these same qualities. Yet qualities they are not. I question how do you think you are so smart when your own words ring with ignorance?

My 92-year-old grandmother had an eighth grade education but literally read every day of her life. When her only child, my father, became a forensic chemist she read and studied all his college books and could memorize almost anything put in front of her. I marveled at her knowledge, yet when she was in her last year on this earth and was wasting away due to cancer, her mind was still sharp. In fact, she told me one night when I was reading to her, “Don’t ever stop reading because there is always something you can learn each day.”

I still believe those words and I pray that the generations underneath us can hopefully learn that they don’t know it all like they think they do. That there are still many more mountains you will have to climb and sometimes you might even have to ask for help to make it over the next hill. So stay strongwilled, because in my opinion that’s not a bad thing. But realize we all need to keep learning, keep coping and keep pressing forward or we stay immature and we never become who we were meant to be. And remember the words of Abraham Lincoln, “It’s better to stay silent and be thought the fool, than to speak and remove all doubt.”

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