Every October I am reminded of a fairytale wedding and honeymoon when my beautiful daughter thought her dreams were coming true. But what do you do when dreams become nightmares and domestic abuse threatens your world?

Ever since she was a little girl, Felicia Lauren had always dreamed of going to Paris and she had a room full of decor which made her anticipate that journey all the more.

Her papa, who held a very special place in her heart, had always told her of faraway places full of beauty and wonder. Places like Paris and Taj Mahal intrigued her, so she had longed to see them all in their grandeur for most of her young life.

So when her wedding day and honeymoon finally became reality, of course it included going to Paris and even India to see the Taj Mahal in person. Her wedding was absolutely breathtaking, as she said “I do” on the stage of the historical Coleman Theater in Miami with the man of her dreams. Or so she thought. But in less than a few weeks, her beautiful dreams would be crushed as she began to live out a nightmare no mother should ever have to tell. Within less than a few months her new husband’s extremely narcissistic ways would begin to threaten not just their marriage but my child’s very life, physically and emotionally. She would go from being an outgoing, secure child to a vulnerable, withdrawn child. Each day I would recognize her less and less. My intelligent child who always scored the highest on her tests now believed the lies he was telling her that she was stupid and not capable of doing anything without him.

My child, who was beautiful on the inside and outside and loved to dress up and go out, wouldn’t even put on makeup or wear anything nice in fear that she might get a compliment and it would make him jealous and mad. She seldom called and he began to isolate her not just from me and the rest of her family, but also friends and colleagues.

I literally watched my child with a master’s degree in counseling become so manipulated by this narcissistic personality that she believed she was “the crazy one” as he projected all his faults and blame onto her. Their home became explosive if she ever tried to fight back or say anything against his authority, which is why he hated me coming into the picture.

I demanded the lies to stop and would’ve done anything to end their toxic relationship once it escalated to the point of harming my child physically and draining her emotionally.

Finally I had seen enough, had been dragged through enough and had had enough! Something was going to give and it wasn’t going to be me. I was done with watching my child be slowly destroyed. I could go into so many details – from drug abuse to mental abuse to physical abuse and more. There were countless sleepless nights of screaming, fighting, begging, pleading, and part of your soul feeling like it was dying as we lived out this nightmare. There were counseling sessions, a horrific car wreck that could have taken their lives but for the grace of God, and many coming-to-Jesus confrontations trying to reason with this man but nothing seemed to work.

I packed my daughter up and moved her out of state and he followed. She even went back to him and I cried God I can’t do this anymore. Then I got the news that his 16-year-old brother had died from an overdose and I thought surely this will be the breaking point for him and he will turn around. But it wasn’t. Things only escalated until the final straw.

You cannot imagine the fear that grips your heart when your child sends you the message: “Mom!!! Help me!!! He’s taken my phone… I’m on my computer. Hurry Mom!!! Hurry before he comes back!”

I can still feel the cold chills that went down my back that day as I scrambled and ran out the door but knew I was two hours away from her. I frantically called her father and then my mother in hopes they could reach her sooner. I even called the police which ironically backfired on us when we were the ones escorted away from “his property” that was in both my daughter’s name and his.

This man threatened everything from her life to her cats’ lives to ours but yet he was the one believed. So I understand the hesitation and frustration when women go to tell their stories but they aren’t believed. Instead they are victim-blamed and made to believe it is somehow their fault for the insanity that is happening. But this is part of the lies we must stop. We must search for truth and tell these victims their fight is our fight.

As I remember that nightmare and all that happened, the words of Dylan Thomas resound in my head “We will not go quietly into the night” but it takes on a new meaning for me and my child. For but by the grace of God we escaped this hellish nightmare and now we fight passionately for others who have also known this plight.

I wish I could tell you that everything is good now but that too would be a lie. So I’ll just say each day we choose to get up and take on the world the best we can. Are there things that trigger the mind and make us go back to that ugly time? Unfortunately, yes. However, we will choose to keep moving forward, knowing that we are survivors and we must tell our story for those who cannot.